super walk 2007.....aka wind walker

Okay,

I have been out of the office due to a thoat fuckin' brought on by too much life. have the results for the last day I walked which is

11/24/07

Miles: 11.952
Steps: ?

Merry things my dear fellows

Well it is that time of the year and before I almost died with some strange illness I had my picture taken with the fat fucker himself. I whispered all the shit I wanted in his ear and wore my favorite sweatshirt too. I hope that everyone has a merry fuckin season and be jolly for god's sake.


Peace and shit
C

Here's Clint

Hey folks, sorry for the long wait between Gerald’s post and this one. We’ve been a busy little orphanage lately. The holidays are coming, fundraisers have been organized, we’ve been blessed with new arrivals in our home, and we’ve also said goodbye to a few boys leaving for happy, new families. So it’s been a good past few weeks, but now we’re ready again. Today’s post is written by Clint McConnell. He’s a good boy with a bit of spunk in him. He’s a rambunctious boy, and that’s why we love him. Without further ado, here’s Clint and his post.

Sincerely,

Mary F. Reilly

Hey, what’s up guys? I’m Clint and I’m pretty new at the orphanage. Some of my favorite things are guns and mustangs. I once found a box in my uncle’s attic full of toy soldiers and toy cars. He said they were gi Joes and matchbox cars. I really like the Joes weapons. They were tiny but they looked cool. But my uncle left town, and he let me keep the toys. It was pretty cool. Theres one matchbox I have that is in the shape of a mustang. It looks really awesome. I like it because it looks fast. I like fast and loud things. That’s why I decided to write about guns. Mrs. Reilly said it was okay, so don’t worry. I know Gerald wrote a poem, but I’m writing mine as an essay. Here goes.

Why I like guns
by Clint McConnell

I like guns because they loud and fun. They look cool and they make you look cool. Their shiny and sleek, and the bullets they shoot whiz around fast. Guns can give you respect. I want a gun so people would respect me. But I'd protect them too, let them be safe. People would thank me. I'd also try and learn gun tricks. I would want to flip them around and spin them, maybe throw them in the air and catch them. One day I want to own a bunch of guns. I want a shooting range in my basement, I wouldn't go hunting, because that's stupid, but I would try to become a sheriff or something to make people feel safer. It would be really fun. The end.

Super walk 2007.....aka ....Wind Walker

11-23-07

Miles: 15.449
Steps: 25,099

Hypermagic

On this Thanksgiving, let us pause to remember the valiant souls patrolling our forests, protecting our children from kobolds and tree-orcs. Take comfort in this vignette, and know in your hearts there is no problem that can't be solved by hurling sticks at it. Now sleep. Sleep!

Heavy is the belt that wears the pedometer

Hey everyone, it's Mike, checking in with some disappointing results. Today I walked approximately 7.6 miles, a downright embarrassment when compared to the awesome distances covered by Casey "Walk You Like a Hurricane" Stringham. I do have several choice excuses to offer in my defense. For one thing, today was unnaturally slow due to the approaching holiday. Also, there was a session of desk-sitting, and later, a whole lotta standing around in Mike's World all by my lonesome, conditions hostile to laying down sole rubber. So, in the interest of fair play, Casey has agreed to re-stage this epic confrontation. Stay tuned for the details!

Super Walk 2007......aka Wind Walker

11/17/2007

Day 6
Miles: 11.126


11/20/2007

Today I am having a guest walker use the pedometer. This is his first officially sanctioned walk by the Professional Walking Circuit of America. He is a graduate of Trinity University and has been a professional walker here at the Blanton for 1.5 years. I wish him the best luck and in the spirit of competition may he exceed 16 miles. Mike Hughes everybody!!!!!!!

Super walk 2007......aka Wind Walker

Day 4

11/14/07

Miles: 13.5
Steps: ?


Day 5
11/16/07
MIles: 14.623
Steps: ?

mr hamburger's got yer number

mr hamburger AHFB t-shirts are now on sale at sister organization Okay Mountain! Sales of all mr hamburger t-shirts benefit the 1st annual AHFB doughnut eating contest and canoe joust!

AH4B Bonus Material: East Austin Studio Tour Wallpaper

Special East Austin Studio Tour media! Exclusively for Austin Home For Boys readers!

Download the East Austin Studio Tour Wallpaper!

East Austin Studio Tour: Are You a Yuppie or Artkid

So Yuppies and Artkids alike will be scouring the EastSide looking for art deals and free cheese this weekend. Here is a test to see if you are in fact a Yuppie or an Artkid:

1. Did you eat breakfast this morning:
a. I had eggs benedict with the girls.
b. I had megas.
c. Do cigarettes count as breakfast?

2. How did you get to the studios:
a. I drove the ol' Porsche SUV.
b. I rode my fixed gear Bianci bicycle.
c. I woke up here.

3. What did you drink while visiting the studios:
a. I had some chilled white wine while I looked at Matt Rebholz's exquisite prints.
b. I drank the Shiner.
c. Whatever I could get my hands on.

Please fill out a postcard with your answers and email them care of Nadia to AustinHomeforBoys@gmail.com. Enclose a SASE and $3 shipping and handling. You will receive your test results in 4 to 6 business weeks.

super walk 2007.....Aka Wind Walker

11/13/07

Day 3

Miles: 16.215
Steps: 28,435

Super walk 2007!!!!!! AKA.....Wind Walker

11/10/07

Day 2

Miles:13.213
Steps: 22,032

Note to Miranda

Remember Veterins This Veterans Day

Veterans Day? What? But what about the people fighting for our soldiers animals? And our soldiers animals freedom? The freedom to lick, sniff, hump and poop on things. The freedom of unconditional love. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about honoring the people qualified to treat diseased and injured animals, veterins or veterinarians if you want to be fancy about it. If there's one thing I've noticed about the Austin Home For Boys, it's that we love our animals. It's quite possible we love our animals more than our soldiers fighting in Iraq. So I call upon you to honor and solute these med school drop outs today, November 11th, 2007 by sending them a card that says, "Hey, thanks for keeping my pet alive," or "Thanks for protecting the freedom of my pet." Should you really want to honor them I highly suggest buying them the Dale Earnhardt Nascar driver commemorative plate set from Ebay.


Also, look how cute and happy this dog is, despite being bit on the face by a snake.

I nominate Patrick Swayze as The Austin Home For Boys Leader

Let's face it, we need to start nominating community leaders to help organize, lead, and maintain the growing sensation that is The Austin Home For Boys. We need someone who encapsulates what it means to be an Austin boy. While the man I nominate is known for molesting boys in the hit indie film Donnie Darko, I think he owns certain qualities that far overshadow such a minute flaw - Patrick Swayze can do the following at least:

(1) He can teach us how to dance
(2) He can teach us how to lure women
(3) He can teach us how to lure women through dance
(3) He can teach how to make a vessel out of clay as shown in the hit movie Ghost
(4) He can teach us how to ride and breed Arabian horses

Also, I hope when you think of a leader you think of the qualities of these films: Outsiders, Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing, Roadhouse, Ghost, Too Wong Foo, POINT BREAK! Donnie Darko.

Burden

Hello again, fellows. Alright, listen: I’m sorry for coming off so bitter last time. It’s just been a hell of a year for me and old Pepper (Pepper’s my dog; I don’t think I’ve mentioned her before). It took us a long time to get here to Austin, we moseyed around, and now that we’re here, well, you know, city of assholes. Shit, sorry, sorry. There I go again. I’ve got some bitterness to me, sure, sure I do. It’s my beast of burden. I mean, just the other day I was in some shop looking around. Now I know how I look, hair all in dreads, skin dirty, clothes stinky, but I’m a person too. And then there’s this chick, working there, giving me the eye. Made me feel like some alien prancing around in a dress. After giving me the staredown, she comes over to sniff me out. "How may I help you, sir? Anything in particular, sir?" I mean, come on, give me a break! I know what she was really saying. She wanted me to get the hell out of there. False pretenses just get my goat. So, again, the bitterness. And again, let me apologize. Because Austin is a great city. It’s got the great green trees and the muddy looking hills out west. It’s got great eateries and is uber-friendly to my Pepper. It is a good time here, it is a good place. The yuppies? Ah, maybe they’re alright. They’re people too, I guess. Just give ‘em a chance, that’s what I should be saying. Peace and love. Everybody live free. And those yuppies, this time, they don’t have to suck it. But maybe they should be thinking about some life changes. That’s all. Oh, and quickly, before I go, the clothing stores on Lamar and Sixth can go to hell. Just a bunch of overpriced crap as is. C’est la vie.

Peace, love, and Barnyard (represent!),

Greg

Super walk 2007!!!!!! AKA.....Wind Walker

Hello All,

I have recently found a pedometer in my office at work. My job requires a lot of walking. I have decided to document the miles walked everyday at work. What is not included is the .779 miles I walk each day to and from the spot where I park.
For clarification the Ass's name is Wind Walker.


11/09/07
Miles: 11.816
Steps: 18,860

PJ interviews with perspective family

Dear readers,

Our little friend PJ is interviewing with a perspective family this morning. The family is full of famous artists, and little PJ tacked up his fingerpaintings, set up his pipecleaner sculptures, donned his new suit (donated by Little Men of Austin) and is ready to impress. Lets all wish him luck and keep him in our prayers.


Prayer for Success:

Almighty God, whose hands hold all matters of life, give me grace of success in the work that I do. Help me to give it the careful thought and the strict attention that will lead to success.

Watch over me and govern my actions, that I may not mar its perfection. Show me how to give my best, and let me not despise the toil that is necessary to complete it.

Make my life a successful one, in that every duty you give to me, I do it well. Give me the blessing of your help and guidance, and suffer me not to fail.

Garrison Keillor Says "Nuts" into My Voicemail

For some reason Garrison Keillor called the Austin Home for Boys this morning and said, "Nuts" into the Home voicemail. There is a bumper crop of pecans this year. I wonder...

Here's Gerald

Hello again, readers. As I hinted in an earlier post, the boys here at the 14^th DABO have a lot of enthusiasm, and already, we have our first participant. His name is Gerald Gere, and he could hardly wait for me to post his writing. He is a lovely boy, some might say precocious, with a charming wit all his own. Gerald is a sensitive, caring child, so please, if you read his post, respond with words of wisdom, charity, and generosity.

Sincerely,

Mary F. Reilly

Hi guys, I’m Gerald. I’m eleven years old. I was born in Tempe, Arizona. I lived there with my older brother Duke, but he’s in the Army now. One thing I really like is snow. I like Las Vegas too. I want to live there when I grow up, but I want to live in the mountains too. Sometimes I can’t decide. Argghh! Well, I hope you readers are having a good day. I’m doing good too. Well, here’s my poem Mrs. Reilly asked me to write. Oh, by the way, I was named for Gerald Ford. He was a president.

My Mother by Gerald Gere

My mother was a tiger

with bright orange fur,

she loved me and my brother

the most in the world.

In the field she hunted

and gathered up some food

to feed us when we were hungry

and make us feel good.

I know my mom’s in heaven now

where all kind souls do go,

watching down from up high

over me and my bro.

Someday we’ll meet again,

but for now there’s much to do,

writing down this poetry

and sending love to all of you.

RunRunRun

.03, or How the Thesaurus Felt when the Griffins ate our horses.

Here is a graphic representation of the emotional state of Roget "The Human Thesaurus" after our intrepid adventures had their ponies snatched by a couple of dirty Griffins. They swept out of the sky like ex-girlfriends who keep your favorite t-shirt and Jackson 5 record album. You know that like right now she's doing floor exercises to ABC with some new sucka. Well, those Griffins are eating our horses and we're not going to get back the deposit. Keep crying, Theo. Keep crying.

The Proof is in the Frittata

Some of readers out there have voiced skepticisms as to the validity and reality of the Austin Home for Boy's DnD campaign, so I thought I'd prove how legit this goblin ass-kicking really is.

For the edification of our young readers and for proof to our older, jaded, and perhaps (should I say y******-ish) readers, I've posted the Gentleman's Gaming Club Dungeons and Dragons Character sheets. Study up, little ones. There will be a quiz next Wednesday.






Bonus Material!!!
The minutes of campaign 1.03! As you can see it was a tough night for our intrepid adventures! Danger lurked in the deep wood and swooped swiftly from the skies. Seemed like men and beasts alike wanted to have a taste of little Chibo Le Riche, known throughout the land as baker of the best frittatas this side of the Dark Caves and Rolling Hills.

Satisfaction

Hey guys, name’s Greg, and I hate fucking yuppies. Yeah, I’m an urban camper. I live on the kind streets of Austin. But maybe they ain’t so kind lately. The sun’s been shining, the river’s been sparkling, nature’s been vibing right with me, but there’s something else out there. Seems like a trend we got going around in this city o’ ours. Listen, if you can get yourself some nice expensive shirts that make me look like crap, don’t move here. I’m serious. Are there signs up or something? ‘Come to Austin. Hey you, yeah you, douchebag, come to Austin. We’ve got opportunities and real estate. Woo hoo!’ Give me a break. Seriously, keep Austin weird - I know it sounds trite and stupid - but it’s the god’s honest truth. ‘Hey, you, you’ve got commerce, prosperity, and economy?’ Don’t fucking come here. Get away from our town. It’s like my bud Dan Boehl says, go back to Dallas (or is it Houston?). I can’t get no satisfaction, that’s what I say, but that’s beside the point. On a side note, back to my bud Dan – he’s a swell guy. I am writing this now at his house, and god knows I stink, so I try to hurry it up. Just a half hour to put this shit up. So I’m rushed, I know, excuse me if it ain’t all there. But anyway, Dan, he’s a good guy. He’s Austin, you know? Letting this bum into his house to stink up his computer chair rant about dead ending-yuppies. That’s cool, baby. You’re cool, baby. You guys out there, keep living free. And yuppies – suck it! We don’t want your zero-culture cheesefest!

Peace,

Greg

p.s. the picture heading this post is a painting done by another good bud of mine, Jeff Barnyard. Get in touch with that dude if you like what you see. Support! Know what I’m saying?

Campaign .03 preview